Gina & Kate Liveblog the… Oscars

We’re changing it up by liveblogging via text message, but.. WE’RE BAAAAACK!

8:30pm: Ellen in that sparkly suit…

8:32pm: Lupita and the guy next to her have the same haircut…

8:33pm: ELLEN JUST CALLED LIZA “SIR”!!!

8:34pm: Julia and Sandra look probably the most beautiful they’ve ever looked.

8:35pm: “Meryl has been nominated 18 times” and Leo’s just there like “Please give me one…”

8:36pm: For those of you keeping track, Jennifer Lawrence has fallen 2 times at the Oscars (so far.)

8:39pm: Ellen’s jokes are so on point tonight.

8:40pm: Okay, side note: how effing creepy are all those Oscar statues filling the stage?!

8:41pm: LOVE ME, FASSBENDER.

8:43pm: *Cue Jimmy Fallon “Thank You Notes” Music* Thank you, Oscars, for being PREDICTABLE.

8:45pm: Inability to correctly understand each other’s texts is preventing Kate’s commentary, in case you’re wondering…

8:45pm: #blessed.

8:50pm: Kerry is absolutely radiant.

8:51pm: Does anyone have an answer to why that hat keeps happening, though?

8:52pm: Okay, I need a gif of Meryl shimmying with Pharrell ASAP.

8:53pm: Pharrell’s performance was universes better than Taylor the Talentless at the GRAMMYs. (Sorry, if I don’t hate on her at least once an hour, I’ll spontaneously combust.)

8:57pm: Reason #2390887342 Why I Love Benedict Cumberbatch:

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9:03pm: Harrison Ford, you are still a fox.

9:11pm: McConaughey is looking a teensy-weensy bit orange. #AlrightAlrightAlright

9:14pm: Okay, that French dude was adorable.

9:15pm: MY BROTHER HATES THE CROODS! FROZEN BETTER WIN!

9:16pm: BRB singing “Let It Go” for the rest of the night…

9:17pm: Honestly, one of the main reasons I stay in NYC is for the possibility of a random Bill Murray encounter.

9:19pm: Totally forgot Will Smith played Muhammad Ali (and perhaps that’s for the best.)

9:20pm: OMG I want JGL for myself, but I also would be the biggest fan of him and Emma Watson together. Kate: “DREAM TEAM. POWER COUPLE.”

9:22pm: Like, duh Gravity won for best special effects. They had to animate space!

9:23pm: Zac Efron…

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9:26pm: This Muppets commercial is an accurate representation of my morning commute.

9:28pm: THANK YOU, BUZZFEED.

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9:36pm: Bradley Cooper with a perm is something that you cannot un-see.

9:40pm: Eh, that was a little much.

9:41pm: FRANK. UNDERWOOD. Kate: “He’s taking this character too seriously. I’m concerned.”

9:43pm: What a sweet Brangelina moment!

9:44pm: Kate: “Soo real talk, where is Idina?” IDK BUT I AM SO EXCITED FOR HER PERFORMANCE!!!

9:49pm: I hope he says “Thank you to Italy.”

9:50pm: Roma is close enough. Forza Roma!

9:51pm: Tyler Perry? Oh god.

9:54pm: Hashtag outfit change!

9:55pm: “Oh, U2 released that song again…” I can’t remember who originally said that, but I stole that joke.

10:00pm: HAHAH

 10:03pm: This selfie is going to be my new phone background…

10:09pm: Seriously, though.

10:12pm: I just love J.Law and I want her to wiiiiiin!

10:14pm: I am 100% okay with Lupita winning. And look at her holding her dress so she doesn’t fall…

10:16pm: I am crying, she is so beautiful and eloquent and talented and amazing. So well deserved.  And this Willy Wonka song playing her off… #dead

10:30pm: This is way delayed but Ellen’s Oscars pizza party was perfect.

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10:34pm: Liza’s got me thinking about a different Oscar…

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10:38pm: I LOVE PINK.

10:51pm: I just spent an unreasonable amount of time doing this:

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10:55pm: RIP PAUL WALKER </3

10:59pm: I can’t right now, Bette.

11:01pm: Too many feels.

11:03pm: Okayyyy so, like, can Idina come out and sing? Because this grandma needs her beauty rest.

11:09pm: IDINAAAAAAA

11:12pm: Jamie Foxx right now…

11:17pm: This dude won the EGOT! How cool. Gunna go listen to “Let It Go” on repeat.

11:29pm: They are so good at dragging these things out, huh?

11:32pm: Angelina is the real life Elsa #LETITGO

11:33pm: Lupita with her Oscar is the most adorable thing ever.

11:35pm: Please see previous comment about the Oscars being predictable.

11:38pm: Kate pointed out that the speeches this year have been really beautiful, and I have to agree. Way to go, actors.

11:42pm: We can just assume Cate is going win this one, yeah?

11:48pm: J.LAW! J.LAW! J.LAW!

11:51pm: Alright, aright, alright…

11:55pm: It’s almost midnight so let’s get to it! Why is Will Smith presenting best picture???

11:58pm: Preeeeeedictable.

11:59pm: Lupita is chatting with Benny Cumberbatch and now she is my idol.

12:00am: That’s it for us! I’ll be busy photoshopping us into Vanity Fair photos…#BYE.

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Gina & Kate Liveblog the… GRAMMYs

We’re back at it! Be sure to check in tonight for insightful rants, hilarious musings, and more stuff like this:

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8:01pm: HELLO BEY. She looks incredible.

8:05pm: Wish my butt looked like Bey’s.

8:06pm: GET TAYLOR OFF THE SCREEN.

8:07pm: Why do they keep inviting LL Cool J back? “At least he looks the same”-Kate.

8:08pm: Did he really just quote himself?

8:09pm: “There’s a special place in hell for you”-Kate, re: Taylor Swift.

8:10pm: This opening monologue is so boring. AMY & TINA FOR ALL THE AWARDS SHOWS.

8:11pmPharrell’s hat, though.

8:12pm: Speaking of “Cups”, Anna’s boobs looks great tonight!!

8:13pm: Despite the fact that none of these artists are new, Kendrick totally deserved Best New Artist.

8:15pm: Love Lorde, but she looks like Samara from “The Ring” when she performs.

8:16pm: “MC Hammer wants his pants back”-Kate, about Lorde’s outfit.

8:17pm: “She’s having an exorcism on the stage.”-Tina, our friend who’s joined us for Grammy watching party tonight. (WELCOME TINA.)

8:18pm: But really.

8:20pm: Also this:

8:25pm: Sad that Twitter is clearly more funny/original than us.

8:27pm: This song is boring and poorly song. BRB we’re going to eat pigs in a blanket.

8:29pm:  It is so much harder to pick Grammy winners than, say Golden Globes winners…

8:30pm: Wait, so will Daft Punk actually speak? Kate wants to know…

8:31pm: “Pharell, how dare you wear that Adidas jacket…”-Tina.

8:32pm: Psyched for a JoBros joke. #RIP

8:33pm: KP FOREVER. Love the dancers dressed like horses…

8:34pm: “She is giving Angelina Jolie’s Malificent a run for her money…”-Kate, about Katy Perry’s performance.

8:35pm: That horse was a little much. Also, KP trying to dance like Beyoncé is not good for anyone, especially Katy Perry.

8:42pm: Ugh, Chicago and Robin Thicke? No thanks.

8:47pm: Grateful that they didn’t cut to Taylor Swift dancing during this performance.

8:48pm: Not into ANY of these collaborative performances tonight.

8:53pm: Also, less than enthused for Taylor the Talentless to “perform” tonight.

8:58pm: John Legend…

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9:01pm: Also, why do we keep inviting Kevin Hart to events?

9:03pm: Is anyone surprised the Dave Grohl & Paul McCartney song won? No? Okay.

9:05pm: Taylor the Talentless yet again proving that she really can’t sing. But I will admit, I do like this song.

9:09pm: Glad she just screamed her way through that song.

9:17pm: Pink >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Taylor.

9:19pm: Honestly, the fact that Pink can do all of this aerial work and never miss a note is truly incredible.

9:22pm: This is the truth:

9:23pm: Remember when Miguel hit a fan in the face with his crotch?

9:24pm: “She sounds like the girl from ‘Brave’!”-Kate, about Lorde.

9:31pm: Aww, Ozzy. “Black Sabbath really needs to reevaluate being in public..”-Kate.

9:32pm: Tonight has been very tame, so sorry for being kind of boring tonight. WE’RE FUNNY, WE SWEAR!!!!

9:35pm: “Jay is sitting there like ‘MINE! MINE!'”-Kate

9:37pm: I FREAKING LOVE HOLY GRAIL BUT LIKE WHERE IS JUSTIN???

9:38pm: “Daddy got you a gold sippy cup!” is what I’m going to say if I ever win a GRAMMY.

9:45pm: These headbangs are the closest we’re gunna get to *NSYNC at the GRAMMYS… get it? Because they are in sync???

9:47pm: Why do we keep pretending that Taylor Swift can dance? Hashtag sit down.

9:48pm: This mashup is fantastic, though.

9:53pm: So, I’m a Kasey Musgraves fan now.

9:59pm: Kate and I are both wishing that Julia was Meryl.

10:01pm: PAUL AND RINGO!!!!!!

1o:03pm: I want Sir Paul’s piano so bad.

10:07pm: Taylor Swift has to make EVERYTHING about her, including Bruno Mars’ GRAMMY win…

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10:11pm:  I just died.

10:15pm: Hey Jeremy Renner, you’re looking ruuuuull good.

10:16pm: Kate, Tina, and I have all taken to our cell phones, in case you were wondering how interested we are in this performance right now…

10:23pm: Thank god Taylor didn’t win for Best Country Album, because her album ISN’T COUNTRY.

10:24pm: Can NPH present every award? “SUIT UP!!!!!”-Kate

10:26pm: Stevie on “Get Lucky” right now… Dying a little bit.

10:29pm: Yoko and Paul McCartney dancing to this song = sheer perfection.

10:30pm: “TAKE OFF THE MASKS! TAKE OFF THE MASKS!”-Kate, clearly bummed at the end of the Daft Punk performance.

10:34pm: This is probably true, though.

10:36pm: Cyndi Lauper… 

10:37pm: Sara Bareilles and Carole King together singing “Brave”, so fantastic!

10:39pm: Also, Carole King looks incredible.

10:41pm: “OH I AM SO EXCITED TO HEAR HER SPEAK AGAIN!”-Kate, about Lorde winning Song of the Year.

10:56pm: THIS.

10:57pm: Steven Tyler is looking a lot like Jack Sparrow right now. (Credit to Tina for the observation).

10:58pm: “SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH! The suspense is killing me…”-Kate, about Daft Punk.

10:59pm: Bey is smiling because she knows if her album was eligible, she’d win all of these awards.

11:03pm: I don’t even want to watch the rest of this, that’s how boring the GRAMMYs have been.

11:06pm: Queen Latifah looks absolutely beautiful!

11:07pm: How do you come up with the name Macklemore, though?

11:11pm: This is a beautiful moment, totally ruined by Madonna.

11:12pm: Madonna is showing her age with that cane.

11:21pm: Taylor Swift needs to attend these music education classes.

11:24pm: Still bummed about the passing of Ray Manzarek. His playing influenced me more than I can express.

11:27pm: I love Billie Joe Armstrong, no matter what he is doing.

11:33pm: SO OVER THIS. Please end, GRAMMYs.

11:34pm: We all know Album of the Year belongs to Queen Bey.

11:36pm: Daft Punk has to talk now, right?

11:38pm: Yeah, goodnight from us. Check back in with us as Kate and I live-tweet the GRAMMYs!